Me and the Money God

A couple of weeks ago, I agreed to an offer from my bank to settle my claim for unfair bank charges. Shortly after, £558 turned up in my current account. As world finances go, this isn't a big deal but it was a tiny triumph for the little man (that's me).

While waiting for the money, thoughts turned to what I should do with it. I haven't had savings since I was a teenager so it was nice to have a small fund to consider. It seemed good sense to save around £300/350, buy a nice present for my girlfriend and spend the rest on a few treats.

A few days before the money was paid into my account, my beloved digital camera got a soaking. I was cycling in Scotland and the rain put a decisive end to the LCD display - and these days, cameras aren't much use without that. Also, a few days ago, my shower stopped working.

I'm a firm believer in 'make do and mend' but there is little chance of fixing the problems above without professional help. Alongside the £150 or so to replace the camera, and the unknown amount it will cost to fix the shower, around half of my bank settlement is already spoken for.

The idea of the Money God is taken from George Orwell's Keep the Aspidistra Flying. Its central character, Gordon Comstock, battles the Money God heroically and pointlessly but the idea resonated with me and I have viewed money in these relationship terms ever since.

The Money God and I will never be friends. He doesn't like me and I don't like him. I avoid contact with him and pay little attention to his needs. He gives very little in return and to be fair, I don't think I ask for much. However, my relationship with the Money God is massively imbalanced. So every now and again, he likes to throw little power trip reminders from his seat in the cash clouds.

He knows when I'm getting a little windfall (he knows everything) and decides to invent a few unforeseen expenses. The irritating thing is, as I get older I try harder and harder to play by his rules - amongst other things I got rid of my credit card and I don't go over-overdrawn anymore. I'd even decided to put most of my settlement money into savings. Yet he still seems angry.

So tomorrow morning, I'll phone a plumber and ask him to take a look at the shower. I'll put together with my girlfriend and buy a new camera and I'll still buy her a present. That will bring my little spree to an end and it will be like I never had the money in the first place. The Money God giveth and the Money God taketh away.

Update: I managed to avoid professional help and fixed the shower myself. It was my first attempt at plumbing and I'm delighted to say it was successful. More importantly it saved me a tidy sum on call out and labour charges.